10 Things I Hate About...
Being Pregnant.(in no particular order, cause I can no longer think straight enough to organize things)
- Glow? What Glow?
- Its not like having butterflies in your stomach- its like having a small walrus, swimming back and forth.
- The walrus likes to poke me.
- Every time I turn over at night, the walrus becomes offended, and pokes me.
- If I turn over onto my stomach at night (I do this EVERY night- no I do not learn), I look like an upside-down VW Bug.
- I feel increasingly grumpy and pissed off, but my relatives, friends and co-workers say they have noticed no difference. Bastards.
- I will be 9 months pregnant in August. AUGUST. I do NOT have air conditioning.
- One of my co-workers said I was finally showing- in MY BEHIND. Bastard.
- People all of a sudden feel they have the right to touch my stomach. They DO NOT. Egad.
- People also feel that the only thing I want to talk about is the pregnancy and upcoming baby. Um, no.
- I can no longer count.
- I gave away all my baby crap, 'cause I wasn't going to do this again. Now I have to buy all this damn baby crap. Sigh.
- Baby crap takes up too much damn space.
- Cravings? I don't have cravings, not unusual ones like Pepsi and milk or pickles and ice cream. No, I just want a baked potato. NOW.
- Hunger? What's that? No- I just feel nauseous, and that tells me its time to eat.
- Also, indigestion both right after I have eaten, and when I need to eat. So, pretty much constantly.
- Sleep? What's that?
- Last time my feet gained half a size- to 10.5. I guess I'll be shopping at Wayne's Gigantic Feet Emporium from now on.
- My yoga stretch pants are getting TIGHT.
- Maternity Clothes.
- I cried at a commercial the other day. Kill me.
There will be more added to this list, I'm sure of it. My brain just decided to go completely blank on me though, so that's it for now.
3 comment(s):
You used to be able to count?!
By Kevin Smith, at 8:54 PM
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun.
If the sun don't come, you get a tan
From standing in the English rain.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen.
I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.
By Anonymous, at 9:31 PM
chYou forgot the taunting of how non-pregnant people can drink all the beer, margaritas, mojitos, and wine they want and you can't.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
By waltzingmathilda, at 9:42 AM
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